so this is how it feels to not run and fight for someone that you really care about. I've always cared about the people I've lost good friends, girlfriends and stuff but I guess not enough to stay and fight for them. but with her it's different it hurts it hurts do much. I can feel it! she's so special to me and yet fucked up. I'm so stupid! I admit it I fucked up what was I thinking!! I regret it soo much! I know it's prob the hardest thing for her to even remotely trust me I don't blame her I wouldn't ether.. but I just wish she could feel and know how serious I am about this. when I'm with her all my IRL problems go away I got to sleep with a smile I wake up with a smile. I'm at work and I'm happy! and no anxiety! she so amazing her personality is amazing and she's super cute! sometimes she thinks she's bugging me but in reality I'm staying quite cus Im happy just listening to her. puts a smile on my face! (: I think I'm the one that bugs her if anything. yes I got jealous of her talking to someone and I over reacted but for the first time I did something I've never done and that accepted and dint let my anxiety get the better of me. she has friends and I am glad they are my friends aswell!
when I'm at work I think about her when I'm at home I think about her when I go to sleep I think about her.. wake up and think about her.. like I said I know I fucked up and pro isn't anything I can do to make it better. the only think I ask is for that one chance for me to prove to her that I care about her. I know that's alot for me to ask but that's all I ask for. and hopefully get her trust back and keep that way cus u sure won't fuck up again!! fuck no I won't she's to special to me!
Crystal I miss you so much!! all I'm asking is for one more chance please I've never fought for anyone like I am for you right now.. and you can call me name and trash talk to me I don't care I just want that one chance. - Richard